Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
