that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
