I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Randomize
