Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
