i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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