Moan for me like Helen Keller
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
