I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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