Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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