I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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