You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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