Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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