Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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