THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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