Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
