If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
People with herpes should wear stickers.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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