it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
