I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
She's the barista slut.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Randomize
