Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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