think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
