Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
you guys were way drunker than both of me
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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