A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
