The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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