Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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