Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
