my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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