I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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