level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
The power of my boobs compel you
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
