Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
