are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize