Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Randomize
