I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Jerry, you need to find god
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
