you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Randomize
