I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
