I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
