Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
