Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i barfeds in our rink
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
