can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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