What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
