Just cropdusted the office
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
