You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
