You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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