I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
