there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
