I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
