Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
