How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
