I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Randomize
