is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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