So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
