dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
