Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
