you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
