It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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