im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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