And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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